A Day of Forevers

living and growing in God's light

Roland Trujillo

CONTENTS

Introduction

Saved from the Fallen Existence

Motion and Rest

Using Stress to Grow

A Day with the Lord

Make the Outside Like the Inside

Saving Grace

No Man Can Serve Two Masters

Distraction is Evidence of Hypnosis

All Have Sinned and Fallen Short

Refinding Inner Purity

Emotion - The Doorway to Enslavement

What We Can Learn from the Stage Hypnotist

Understanding Exchange and the Fallen Life

Dissolving Anxiety

The Mystery of Secret Intent

Our Faith Must Be Pure Without Doubt

Let It Be of God

Overcome Evil With Good

The False Life of Emotion

Introduction

It is amazing how many words describing the process of getting better begin with the letters "re." Here are a few: rebirth, renewal, regeneration, refreshment, recovery, and restoration. In this book I wish to highlight these beautiful words and show how they do indeed come to pass in the life of the person born of the spirit.

That is why I entitled the book A Day of Forevers. Each day is a new beginning, a new refreshing, and renewal, it is the fulfillment of God's promise, the continuation of a love story, and the promise and hope of even more to come. Each day is a microcosm of a lifetime and beyond.

Think about what perpetual renewal and refreshment mean. Aren't these other ways of saying "forever?"

The new life from God and in God is perpetually renewed and refreshed by Him. It is comforting to know that He is in charge.

There is no entropy in the macrocosm--for God sends His gravity winds to perpetually renew and refresh even the spin of the planets and the spin of the electrons.

If He cares for the material creation thus and even knows when a sparrow falls, will He not complete His good work in you? So once on the path, you can relax and need only continue to yearn for what is right and marvel at the good that transpires within you and around you.

The human being is somewhat like one of the new electric cars. It is connected to a source to recharge it. Every day we meditate to reconfirm our desire to have God in our life. We recommit ourselves to keep channels of communication open and to retain the bond and rapport with the Source of our life.

We download something of the essence He gives us each day, and from this essence is everything we will need. By meditation and then being watchful we remain connected and in touch with our inner ground.

We continue to touch base with our intuition and the inner light as the day goes by. We sense that it is there and we know that we may call upon it in our hour of need.

The seasoned meditator savors the delicate realizations that touch the mind during the day. The seasoned meditator also occasionally becomes aware of his or her hands so as to feel the delicate mild tingling of life coming from the inner source as it extends to the body.

So at the beginning of each day and then throughout the day, we call upon God in the most delicate way. We remember, we remind ourselves, we feel the inflow from within. We watch ourselves to remain calm and not get too long caught up in things.

Of course, God permits us to think of other things and do our work, read, converse with others, exercise, and so on. But we never stray from having intuition close at hand.

Like the television or computer screen, everything is perpetually refreshed. It stays in existence as long as it is refreshed. But should you stray from the light, then there is no life flowing into the new, and old ways begin to assert themselves.

You remember the old way--the way of struggle, frustration, effort, emotion, and resentment. It was the way of taking or robbing energy from something to feed the appetite and voracious energy needs of the life of compensation.

When you are touched by God you are touched by forever. When you life is hidden in Christ, and Christ in God, you are hidden in forever.

But though you are hidden in Christ, you are in the world and your words and deeds bring something of forever into the realm of time and space. Others seeing your good works glorify God, the God who strengthens you and the God Whom you serve.

By this new way of life, with each day a day of forevers, you testify through your actions and words to the existence of the eternal God, His right way, and His principles.

His love is forever, His wisdom is forever. You do not put stock in the temporal and you are not swayed by the vicissitudes of life--thereby you testify to the existence of eternal principle to which you are loyal and which you express.

As you remain close to the eternal, and as you express it in thought and deed, you extend the eternal into the mind, nerves, and tissues of your body. You take on immortality.

There are many Bible verses that refer to this miracle which you will see come to pass in your own life as you follow the path.

For the perishable must be clothed with the imperishable and the mortal with immortality... (1 Corinthians 15: 53)

And having clothed yourselves with the new self which is ever in the process of being renewed and remolded into fuller and more perfect knowledge upon knowledge after the image of Him who created it. (Colossians 3:10 amplified)

Clothed therefore (as the elect of God, holy and beloved) with bowels of mercies, with kindness, with humility, with meekness, with tolerance. (Colossians 3:12)

Indeed, all of you who were baptized into the Messiah have clothed yourselves with the Messiah. (Galatians 3:27)

And be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness. (Ephesians 4: 24)

Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away. Behold the new has come. (2 Corinthians 5: 17)

We were buried then with Him by baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, we too might walk in the newness of life. (Romans 6: 4)

This life is both new and forever refreshed. All things are new for the person reborn of God. Now you have a blessed refreshing in the ever present, as the distant past of your life walking in darkness fades away.

Each day is thus another of the newness of you, living and growing in God's light.

Just what are dwelling on the past or planning and worrying about the future but perpetual disobedience?

Now is where you should be, where living truth is, where inspiration is, where realization is, where God is. Dwelling in the past is escaping from now and from the God of conscience. Planning and worrying for the future is faithless and thus disobedient.

So you are perpetually and eternally refreshed in the here and now. And the refreshment is new insight, realization, and of experiencing awe, wonder and delight in God's creation which testifies of Him.

You will not find answers in dwelling upon the past with resentment or nostalgia, you will not find answers in dusty books or academia which is the repository of yesterday's errors and half truths.

The truth is living now, breathing now, and when you breathe in the truth you are in- breathed and inspired. You literally live and move and have your being in God.

The only place you can try to escape from God is in the imagination or in overwhelming emotions.

Do not try to escape God. Learn to sit still in the present. Experience the truth dawning and experience the brief pain of reality. Submit to the truth in the here and now and become a friend of God.

This is called living by faith. When you realize something, it is pure delight. You also know that you may let it go, because if you should need to see it again the spirit will make it available at that time, and you will then see even more deeply.

So you are free from even having to try to remember truth. It will be wordlessly present when you need it.

Likewise you are free from self images. You are no longer the old self. And what remains of it will slowly dissolve away until there is only the new you. The new you is not made of memories. It is composed of each new realization and each new action. It is sustained by God and your responses of love and faith. You live and breathe truth and love. And as you realize God and His principles you become the stuff of life.

Behold all things are new.

You put on love, you put on the garment of faith, the cloak of right living, and the garment of patience.

You begin to develop a "bad" memory for all the useless stuff you once tried to hang onto or the memories of traumas. But now your mind becomes alive with realizations and insights.

The false ego life is composed of traumatic memories and shallow words and emotions. The emotions seem to energize the concepts, memories and notions that we react to and hold onto.

When the memory is gone and the emotions are gone there is nothing left but the leading spirit that has been guiding you to destruction. Awaken now from your daydream.

It is painful to see that all your trophies and memorabilia, all your pet peeves, and memories are nothing. Don't resent seeing it. Realize that this is the truth.

Most people do not want to realize the truth because their whole ego life is built upon the shifting sands of vain imaginings and false reassurance.

Blessed is the person who sees the truth and then cleaves to the Spirit which shows him this truth.

Such a person is blessed to see that the smaller negative truth is being seen in the light of the Greater Truth. Truth is like a light that shines on things. Memories and images break down when stared at in the light.

What is left then is the real you, humble and penitent (and also a nothing); but a nothing that will become a something as a child of God.

Throw off the tatters of pride and be a nothing for a while. Soon the new you will begin to form, supported by a life of perpetual renewal and refreshing in the waters of regeneration.

You were tempted to stray from the eternal and perpetual into the sands of time. Like Alice in Wonderland you fell through the rabbit hole of temptation luring you into the fate of beasts.

And with the body of a beast, sharing its destiny, you continued to believe in the dream of pride through dwelling in the imagination. You didn't know what you were getting into. But now having tasted of frustration, futility and emptiness, you are chastened, and like the prodigal son you are ready to come back to your heavenly Father. O happy day when you return to your true loadstar and let go of the trappings of vain imaginings and the false and draining life of clinging to the sensual.

You will now become a new creation in Christ. The old has passed away. Beginning with the first seeding of the Spirit, you will be perpetually renewed and refreshed in your new life. The old has passed away. One by one, the former ways will dissolve away and with them the memories of traumas, until one day there will only be a blessed present.

The following is from the introduction to my book A Day with the Lord. It so much says what I wish to convey here that I can't resist repeating it.

It's something like when you were a little child. Each day was a new day of discovery and adventure. You awoke in the morning refreshed and renewed, and you sprang from bed and ran barefoot over the carpet ready to discover wonderful things. So shall it be now for you, the reborn child of God.

Does what I have just written not strike a responsive chord? Does it not remind you of a deep yearning, even when you were a child, for something special and wonderful you knew in your heart existed? Does it not remind you of the desire to find the meaning and purpose of your life you have had ever since a little child? Does it not call you to awaken from the slumber you have fallen into from the cares and enticements of life?

When we were little children, we knew in our hearts about God, about love, and about a wonderful land somewhere over the rainbow. When you were a little child, you may have lain in the grass of a summer's evening looking up at the stars. Somehow you knew there was a meaning and purpose to your life, and you knew there was something you needed to discover, but it was elusive and you could not quite grasp it. Yet you were sure that some sort of mysterious great adventure awaited you and it included finding something out.

Alas, soon the enticements, teases and affections of the world drew you away from those mystical childhood moments when you knew things without words and when you sensed that a magical world of good was just beyond your reach now but that you would have to find it.

The friendship of the world and the pressures of peers, parents and school pulled upon you and drew you into the concrete jungles of the world where many other things grabbed your attention and years later you found yourself somehow far away from those fleeting views of beauty and good that you had once been ready to reach toward.

Awaken now. Brush off the sleepy cobwebs from your eyes; stand tall, and begin again to find and live your true life. All that has happened to you has a positive value—it has intensified your yearning for the good and the true. The journey starts with your sincere yearning to find your way back to what you once knew in your heart as a child and beginning your real life journey of adventure and discovery.

- 1 -

Saved from the Fallen Existence

Before learning to meditate, we sought to exert our will on problems, and thus we were drawn into them. Our will is but puny resistance. We resist God and conscience, and then we are drawn to temptations and distractions. We do not will to be distracted or tempted, but when we push away from conscience and obedience to the Creator, we then by default are drawn toward some other way. The electron with a negative charge has no choice about being repelled by other negative charges and being drawn to positive charges. The south pole of a magnet has no choice but to be repelled by another south pole and drawn to a north pole.

When you incline toward self serving, away from altruistic disinterested love of what is right with an attitude of willingness to do what is right, the polarity of your soul is thus turned toward being drawn away.

So we really do not have a will like we think we do. We are drawn to all the wrong things and all the wrong people as long as we are turned from God.

Nor do you have any choice in the matter. You are inclined one way or the other, and depending on your inclination, your proclivities will be determined. Either you wish to do God's will, or you wish to do your own will.

But when you wish to do your own will, it is not really your will. There are only two wills in the universe: God's and the devil's. When you wish for the illusion of pride, then you repel God and His humbling truth. You are then fair game for those who specialize in giving you an illusion of greatness and goodness.

Christ led the perfect life because His only will was to do the Father's will. Wishing to do God's will makes life simple. No longer do you have ominous decisions to make. You simply do what you see is wise or right for each moment. No longer will you need to fret and worry and try to figure things out; now your attitude will be one of inquiry of God and trusting in Him to provide the answer.

Furthermore, you will now also be able to move with another energy. The egotist knows only two kinds of energy. The energy of resistance and the energy that arises to move toward external challenges and enticements.

For example, let's say the egotist resents something or someone. This resentment is itself a form of resistance. Then the egotist needs some sort of energy with which to act upon the resentment. This energy must be drawn up from the body and it comes under various names, most notably excitement, anger and fear.

For example, the egotist sees someone have something he does not have. He wants what they have, and so he resents them. If he may make up his mind to get it, and then strive and work for money to have it, or he may try to come about it in some other way, all requiring energy and the expenditure of energy. If he is afraid to try for it or has no opportunity to get it, then he might just be angry, depressed, or become more resentful.

Here is another example. Because the egotist is turned from God and toward self aggrandizement, he or she wants and needs many things in order to feel good (like God) and impress others. So he will often see things he wants and needs, and toward these he is attracted. The energy drawn up is excitement, impatience, and various types of emotion that sustain a wanting attitude. The inclination toward what he wants and needs is sustained by various desires and resentment. The inclination is also sustain by tension, fixation and hypnosis.

If someone is to obtain something (egotistically) there must be some energy that sustained efforts toward that object. The animal's endeavors to obtain food are sustained by hunger and then a sort of hypnosis, which keeps it focused on its prey.

The egotist, in order to obtain what he wants, has to be goal oriented (especially since others see what he wants and withhold it). Longing, tension, fixation, hypnosis, anger, desire, and so on are names we give to sustained body and mind inclination toward something.

Perhaps now you can see what the egotist needs his emotions. Without some sort of emotions, the egotist feels dead. He needs emotions to fuel his ambition and search for his needs. He also needs emotions to keep him locked into what he is pursuing or evading, lest he begin to awaken to see his slavery and error.

But remember that fatigue, break down, and sickness are just one step removed from emotion and are the inevitable result of emotions.

There is always an exchange going on. What feels invigorating on the upside is also draining on the downside.

Emotions also inevitably lead to excess and its debilitation, as well as to resentment and its negativity.

Remember, the ego wants to play God, and so it can never have enough. It is never satisfied. There is always more to be had. So he needs more and more. But the more we indulge ourselves, the more guilty (before the light we become), and so we need more and more to take us away from reality and conscience.

Eventually the ego begins to see that what he wants never satisfies. This leads to a terrible resentment and urge to destroy. He wants to take it out on what he craves which never satisfies; and he might turn the destructive energies on himself.

We are drained on account of anger, excitement and striving and struggling toward goals and our delicate organs and tissues begin to break down under the strain. Additional stress toward deterioration occurs through over indulgence. Eating too much, drinking too much, even exercising too much cause strain and damage. When the body is not given sufficient time and resources to recuperate, damage is the result.

While on the subject of over indulgence, let me remind you that anger is, by definition, an excess. It should not have existed in the first place. As soon as you become angry (or irritated), you have failed spiritually, and your body has to pay the price. Anger is a luxury we cannot afford. Anger and rage also burn up prodigious amounts of energy.

Sooner or later the body begins to breakdown under the load. It cannot meet the increasing demands on it, it cannot process the demands, and it cannot remove the waste products.

This leads to inevitable damage, breakdown, shut down, cellular rebellion (such as some types of cancer), and death.

Now that you know what emotions mean in terms of spiritual failure, wear and tear, and deterioration and disease, you can see why we must find another energy to live and move and have our being. Even decent people, who live lives of moderation and balance, suffer loss of energy and deterioration. Our fallen life, even the life well lived, is evidence of an original failure, and even the well lived life is subject to the curse from the Garden of Eden.

In order to not die before our time, and in order to have enough time to discover what we need to know to transcend death, we must discover how not to fail. At least how to fail less and less and then not at all.

We must find another energy to live and move and have our being. Fortunately, such energy is available. It is called love--an emotionless energy of love from the Creator. But this energy is only available to those who yearn for truth with all their heart, and who are willing to give up the ego life of passions and hatreds. We also have to give up self seeking as well as the goals that others give us. We must be willing to follow intuitive guidance from our Creator--wordless guidance from within, and we must not waver.

We must meditate for mental distance, and we must learn to bring every thought into captivity to Christ. And I might add, we must also bring every action into captivity to what is right and just, which we discover in each moment where we forbear to resent others, yearn to know what is right, and are attentive to the dictates of conscience.

And Thee would man praise; man, but a particle of Thy creation; man, that bears about him his mortality, the witness of his sin, the witness that Thou resistest the proud. Augustine

Inner Recollection

How came it to pass that many of the Saints were so perfect, so contemplative of Divine things? Because they steadfastly sought to mortify themselves from all worldly desires, and so were enabled to cling with their whole heart to God, and be free and at leisure for the thought of Him. We are too much occupied with our own affections, and too anxious about transitory things.

Were we fully watchful of ourselves, and not bound in spirit to outward things, then might we be wise unto salvation, and make progress in Divine contemplation. Our great and grievous stumbling-block is that, not being freed from our affections and desires, we strive not to enter into the perfect way of the Saints. (from the Imitation of Christ by Thomas a Kempis)

Christ said: "let your left hand not know what your right hand is doing." He was speaking of giving alms, and basically was saying that we should give spontaneously because it is the right thing to do or the kind thing to do, and not so that others will see us. Giving in order to impress to impress, appease, or get something from another, ruins it. We should do all things from God and in God or for the good of others, which is what our Heavenly Father wants us to do.

Christ's saying "to not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing" can be extended to all of life.

Once again we come back to the phrase--to flow from within. There is a way of living that is spontaneous and innocent, without selfish motive and without regard to self. When you don't care about your own ego, then you can live spontaneously and care free. You can live without fear, without regret for loss or excitement over gain.

But when we have been corrupted by hate, which often begins as kids when we resented our parents for failing us, we are thus separated from the flow from the inner fount. Immediately we feel empty, afraid, anxious, and alone; and it is at that point that we begin compensating from outside for what we lack from within. We become a totally selfish person--dependent on the lying mirrors of others' faces and actions.

We take everything in and we consider everything in terms of ego survival. Many things increasingly menace us, as we avoid having our inadequacy exposed. We begin to fear many things, especially people, and we look for safety.

We seek safety in hiding from others, we seek safety in numbers by melding in with our peers. The more afraid we are, which grows because of our failure to grow and mature as a true human being as we were meant to, the more we seek the easy way out. We seek a way where we will not be exposed to ourselves or others.

This is the path of avoidance. This path is often facilitated by others who enable us and protect us from being exposed. They make excuses for us and they avoid talking about what we fear being uncovered. They might even promote us without merit, or they might provide for us so that we do not risk being found out. Of course, their motive for doing this is also self serving. They know that we will become dependent on their services, but more fundamentally, they share our dark secret: they know that we fear being exposed and they hold this over us. Should we seek to escape from their grasp when we see what is going on and when we try to become interdependent, they quickly pull the rug out from under us by reminding us of what we are hiding. This quickly brings us back into line.

If we are "lucky" we find some sort of external success in sports, entertainment, school or work. We thereby fit in and are somewhat laudable in the eyes of the world. Yet underneath our serving others so that they will serve our ego, there is a growing resentment toward everything and everyone. We sense that we need them and are dependent on them, and this we resent. We also resent that no one has real love. Our true self, the self that we were meant to be, is not allowed to thrive. It is rejected, denied, and smothered.

It becomes harder and harder for us, in this state, to do as Christ told us, to give freely and without strings attached. First because we are cut off from the source from which we could flow intuitively and spontaneously. Secondly, because we are totally externally directed. Every action is run through the intellect first. Every action is calculated with risk/benefit analysis. We are always looking to avoid exposure and loss, and we are looking for what the effect on others will be (how they will perceive you), and we are looking for advantage.

We become selfish and calculating, and we also have to strive to hide it from others. So we put on a mask.

Of course all of this is wearying. We yearn to be free to be spontaneous; and it isn't long before someone comes along and offers us an avenue by which we can act "spontaneously."

But rather than being a spontaneous outpouring of good from within; it is a substitute and a very dangerous one. We are taught by example or suggestion, to become emotional. And when we become emotional, the emotions take over and we are impelled and driven toward release of the drive and emotion. We also learn how to act under other's directions, as when a coach tells us what to do or a boss. We just do it without thought.

This mindless performance gives us some relief from planning our every move. But we become externally directed, and thereby lose even more true independence and self motivation. We are also taught the wicked art of goal setting. And when we re fixated on some goal, we become single minded, and driven to accomplish it, damn whatever gets in our way. We learn to be without conscience. Yes we may have less conflict (with conscience), but we are also less human. Taken to its extremes, we become psychopaths or sociopaths (something like on the outside what our smiling motivators and enablers are on the inside).

Alcohol is a disinhibitor. As a disinhibitor it can be used in two ways. The first way is the one I just alluded to. People grow up subject to wrong authorities who do not foster and nurture our true self, our intuition, and self motivation. We grow up in pressure cooker environments where the anger and impatience of our parents (and other authorities they turn us over to) hypnotize us and render us suggestible and tractable. Then we are bombarded with orders, suggestions, and endless tasks and issues laid upon us, giving us hardly a moment's time in which to quietly commune with intuition and discover God's great world.

Once, through pressure and emotion, we become totally outward directed, we no longer feel free. In order to try to find freedom, we look to drugs and alcohol, to vandalism and partying, to rebellion, and to manners and ways of dress and behavior that are disapproved of.

It's a false freedom, but without tutoring or a natural inclination to go within, all that the person can think of is freedom through rebellion, disinhibition, or emotional excess.

My heart goes out to young people everywhere who are pressured and emotionalized almost from the moment they are born. The natural inclination for humans is to be free, and so people will seek freedom in drugs, on the streets, in alcohol, or in emotional activities such as rowdy environments, partying, and the sort of mindless freedom that is found in becoming part of a crowd or mob.

I must quickly state that there is a true freedom, and it is the type of freedom that Christ spoke of when he said, "who the Son of Man sets free is free indeed." It is the freedom of learning to live intuitively, flowing from within, from realization to realization, from discovery to discovery. It is dependent on locating your intuition, listening to its wordless guidance, and following it first, last, and always. It is your true lodestar which will take you on a wonderful journey of adventure according to God's plan. Along the way you will build character and one day you will step into the timeless dimension to live eternally.

Some of the great mystics have told us about it, and explorers and discoverers have tasted of it. People like Albert Einstein, Steven Jobs, Madame Curie, Mozart, Beethoven, Emerson, and Mahatma Gandhi have found it, to some extent, and their lives bear witness to the intuition from which they made their discoveries and lived creatively.

True freedom cannot be found on the outside. It is found within.

Now I wish to mention the second way that people use alcohol and other disinhibitors. It is to escape and find freedom from conscience. In preceding paragraphs I said that young people look for freedom from the tyranny in which they live, seeking liberation in alcohol, partying and so forth. But when a person becomes guilty enough for resenting and hating their parents, for being full of anger, and for obeying wrong authorities and seeking an easy out in drugs and the comfort and reassurance of peers, their guilt grows before conscience until they begin to seek stronger and stronger means of escaping from the ever present conscience.

For awhile distractions, daydreaming, and emotions afford escape from conscience. But when people become guilty enough, they seek stronger means of escape. And sure enough, some friend will suggest and offer samples of marijuana, alcohol, crack cocaine, or various other drugs and stimulants, and the guilty person's desire to escape from conscience will make the draw of such things irresistible and addicting.

However, believe it or not, there is an even more sinister and subtle snake in the grass offering a means of escaping from the inner light of conscience. It is the way of false meditation, rituals, and false religion. It is the way of hypnosis--of psychotic clinging to people, places, notions, and substances. Therefore, learn your lesson well: never make anything too important (more important than what you know is right in your heart). When you find yourself tapping your toe to music or floating away with a daydream--pull back. When you find yourself rushing or impatiently reacting to a delay in traffic, take a mental step back. Don't buy anything (or marry someone) when there is a feeling involved. Walk away and take time to recover from your bout of emotion. Only buy the item when there is no more emotion, and then only if it is a necessity and makes sense. Watch out for people who make you feel anything, whether it be like or hate. They want to control you and use you in some way. Don't resent them either. Just see what they are up to and keep your mental distance.

I'm not suggesting that you be a recluse. It is okay to be with people, get married, raise a family, cooperate with others in business opportunities and so on. Just have an attitude of friendly neutrality. Don't fall into emotions of any kind. Remember--to be a true friend you should not be relating to others emotionally and selfishly. Your common sense and calmness should be the atmosphere of any interaction, and what is right, fair and just the over riding end.

Be calm and attentive to what is right in a friendly but firm way (in other words with conviction but not with rigidity and resentment). Never pressure others or succumb to pressure.